my own personal happy dimension...

have you ever wanted something so much it hurt?

have you ever felt so strongly about someone that you would do anything to keep them in your life even if they couldn't be yours?

have you ever been so afraid that you would screw something up that you felt frozen in time (almost outside your body), unable to make decisions or move in any direction - let alone forward for fear of the outcome?

i know what i want. i know where i want to be. i know who i want to be next to me.

i just don't know how to make that a reality.

i'm afraid it will end up like all of the other things in my life. i don't want to ruin this. i don't want to jeopardize this. i want to do everything right. i want things to work out.

if only i could explain the way i feel. the way it feels.


the way it felt...