completely unexpected...

he said exactly the right things. not because he had to. not because he wanted to. he said them because that is all that he knew to say. he said them because it that was what he was thinking and feeling.

and they were exactly what i needed to hear.

he let me mumble incoherently. he let me sob. he let me be irrational and self-destructive.

and when i managed to gather some semblance of control... he told me how amazing i am. he told me that he knew i was doing everything that i could. he told me how selfless i am. he talked through everything that i said. not looking for answers... but to try and make some sense of everything.

and to help me realize that i tried.

and to help me understand that i need to think about myself once and awhile... because he can see that i don't. ever. he said he wants to put me first. he said that way he knows that if i can't put myself first, someone will.

in a situation that is extremely complicated and confusing. in a situation he really knows very little about. in a situation that makes him uneasy, for many reasons... rightfully so. he was patient. and understanding. and honest.

and the entire time he kept his arms wrapped around me... so i felt safe.