for goodness sake i think i'm on the edge of something new with you...

alright... there has been a lot of things going on in my little corner of the world lately and i have been doing a bad job of keeping you updated. i will not apologize however... (apparently you shouldn't, lol. not that i don't regularly break most of these rules...) but alas, what can i say? i've been a busy bee. ;o)

here goes... besides working way too much (as in 12-15 hour days monday-friday and some weekend days/nights, besides being on-call, or 12-15 hour days monday-thursday and traveling/conferencing friday-sunday only to hit repeat...), i have been doing really great.

let us summarize with bullets:

• i love my sisters! LITP!
  
• i despise canceled flights (especially when you get re-routed to an entirely different destination and get seated in the center seat on a 5 hour flight and the women behind you pukes everywhere...)
• i love being busy... even though i love being lazy, too.
• i think my cats are actually dogs (more on that some other day...).
• i'm normally not optimistic, positive or strong. but i'm trying to be! (and thanks for all of the great words of encouragement... i appreciate them all more than you know).
  
• knee-high socks make me happy. i'm kinda obsessed...
  
• holiday filled weekends are fun (friday-the-13th, valentines day, president's day...)!
• i've made it to balitmore and newark on my conference tour so far... chicago and san francisco are yet to come...
• i love peanut butter.
• my blog isn't really funny (well, it is to me, i'm easily amused!)... but i think it serves a great purpose.
• my mom/sister make my blood pressure rise.
• i can't wait for friday at 3 pm!!!

and on that note... the important part of today's post: this weekend!!!

as you may recall, the ranger is flying across the country to spend the weekend with me and i couldn't be more excited! seriously!

we've known each other for about 8 years now (wow... it's been that long???) and we originally met in undergrad... i'll spare you the fraternity/sorority hijinks! lol. let's just say that i was completely enamored of him, but i wasn't really in the best place in my life at the time. the time we did spend together was wonderful... some of the best memories and most hilarious stories i have from undergrad involve the ranger! time passed, i graduated, i moved, he graduated, he moved, there were other gf's and bf's, there were more moves, and more moves... we would see each other every once in awhile when we were back in the ol' college town, and we somehow have always kept in touch (even if it meant weeks or months had gone by...).

and i've never completely let him go.

he is an amazing man (although he would never agree). he's brilliant and humble. gorgeous and down to earth. we have a lot in common and it's always been easy to be "comfortable" with him (not in a bad, way... in a really really good way. and he always makes me laugh- which is always a huge plus in my book!

anyway... we started talking again regularly this past fall (due to some random events... and proof that this is one small world that we live in!). we've been exchanging phone calls and the ever-so-popular digital communication... via myspace/facebook, etc. (although he doesn't have text messaging... which makes me CRAAAAZY!) we've always joked about when the other person was going to move closer, and we've always made comments about how no one is quite equal to who we each are. it's been casual, strictly friends. but he does have the unrivaled ability to call me at that exact moment when i need it the most, at those hopeless moments, at those lost moments. it's unexplainable and completely wonderful.

i was lucky enough to get to see him over new years... and it made my heart happy to know that i could be in the same room with him and still feel at ease, he could still make me laugh like no one else, that everything between us was still "easy", and that spark was still there (not to mention, the fact that i had a blast going out on the town with him and all of our friends, we had an epic time out-and-about in the ol' college town drinking, dancing, drinking, laughing, drinking, reminiscing, drinking, watching the ball drop in the -30 degree weather, drinking (for warmth!), and stumbling back to the hotel close to sunrise! and it sure didn't hurt that he made sure that whenever my hands were empty he had a drink waiting to replace it!!!)

and ever since... we've stayed in touch just that much more.

it was about 2 weeks ago when we were chatting on the phone and i was talking about how i wasn't going to get to see him again until may when i head over to NC for a wedding (which is going to be amazing btw!) and he made a comment about how far away that was. i told him that he should come out to SoCal and visit... he mentioned that maybe he should, he hasn't been out to CA since he was 5. of course he mentioned that he would but i am always traveling so i wouldn't be here anyway. i told him that wasn't true (well not entirely... lol!). so he mentioned that he did have a 4 day weekend coming up... over president's day. i exclaimed - that is the only weekend i will be in CA all month, you should totally come out and visit! ... and that is pretty much where the conversation ended.

until the next morning when i get a message that simply says: "what airport would i fly in to?"

i message him back, trying desperately to not get my hopes up... because i didn't want to get crushed again. that evening i get a phone call 'round about the time he would have been getting home from work...

"i'm buying a plane ticket, what time can you pick me up?"

so we chatted about flights, and risks involved with flying on friday-the-13th, and then he says, ok, talk to you later. and that was that! ;o)

and that leads me to now... i've been trying desperately to plan some fun things to do while he is here, but of course the weather is not cooperating!!! we have some fun plans for a night of drunken debauchery filled with spirited beverages and all of my favorite peeps tomorrow night and will probably end with me taking my pants off... again... BUT... it's valentine's day this weekend!!!

and so far he's referenced friday-the-13th and even president's day. but no mention of the day of hearts-n-flowers-n-chocolate-n-xoxo's!

so what do i do?!?!

do i acknowledge it? plan something? get him a present? get him a present but hide it and only reveal its existence if he acknowledges it first? pretend it doesn't exist? act like i don't know what day it is? ahhhh!

and it sure doesn't help when we are in some sort of pseudo "friends but past flames" state and this weekend feels somewhat like a "let's-see-how-this-goes-and-then-take-it-from-there" audition for the future. and this is the first time WE are going to be spending an extended period of time together, just US. and i'm SUPER nervous (but not necessarily in a bad way...).

oh geez. what have i gotten myself into. ;o)

just let me remind you... i did not pick the weekend. and yes... this is what has been on my mind today... so shoot me.

I AM SO EXCITED!!! (i can't stop smiling...)