sometimes i wanna quit this all and become an accountant now...

but i'm no good at math and besides the dollar is down...


so i try not to use this blog to bitch and moan about work. but there comes a time when things just have to happen... or i'll explode. seriously. so if you are unenthusiastic about reading through the perils and frustrations of my exasperating job, please hit the eject button now.

ok.

for those of you all still here, let's get some framework in place: as you may know, i work in higher education. i love what i do. i love working with students (most of them anyway). no, this isn't what i set out to do, this just sort of happened... one day i realized that i love this and i'm pretty good at it.

what i don't love... the institution in which i am currently employed is a small/private. i have a background in medium/state. i had no idea of the political differences, nor the administrative absurdities that go on at an institution like mine. well, maybe it is only this one.

the inconsistencies, the playing favorites, the disregard for policy, the list goes on and on... i struggle everyday fighting for what is best for my students when i should be spending my time aiding my students in their development. it's unnerving. and it's eating away at me.

and it's not just that i "wear many hats" in my role here. i expected that at a school this size. it's that when you add up my responsibilities/duties you don't get 100%. you get close to %200... for ONE person to do. and it's not that i work some nights and weekends, because i expected that as well. it's that i work almost EVERY night and weekend. some weeks i count my hours and when i hit 70 by thursday i just stop counting, that's the salary life.

it's that none of these things are in my contract. it's that none of these things are ever discussed with me. it's that i am not supported in any of the decisions that i make. it's that when i do research and present best practices, the higher-ups disregard it and just do what they want... but then expect me to enforce it. it's that all the spirit that i have, all of the passion, is being beaten-down, sucked out, and trampled upon.

it's that i'm afraid if i stay here, i will burn myself out, i will feel defeated every single day and i will end up quitting this profession all together.

i stay because of the students. but when do i say enough is enough and put myself first?