so does everyone remember The Man?
well... how's this for a perfect text message?
"i'm painting right now, thinkin about you. thinking about how simple things, simple lines can be so beautiful when they've got just the right curves. we're forced into such a simple relationship as is but it's so beautiful. every word i read of yours fills me with life."
mmhmmmm...
(enjoy part 2 of the mr. west saga... while i am on a field trip to magic mountain with a crew of my students!)
so there we were... mr. west and i entangled in a "relationship" that was still never defined, but oddly lasting over time and distance...
mr. west flew from AZ to see me (about 2 years ago exactly) while i was finishing up grad school and things were great, seeing him again was just like old times (well maybe not entirely like old times... we had grown up quite a bit, but damn was he still handsome, lol.) but i have to admit, i was distracted trying to wrap up school, my upcoming comps, teaching, and being consumed with my assistantship. so i didn't really know what i was in for.
now keep in mind, he's always joked that we were going to get married some day, that i was going to be his baby's mama, that his family was going to love me. we even made the "my best friend's wedding" deal with each other, but never really specified an age. we've even talked about whether or not my family would approve of him, he knows that he really needs to be on my ma's good side ( just like i have to get his mama's approval) and i always reassured him that she would adore him as long as he was good to me. my father being another story. but we've come a long way on that front... hell, i even got him to vote for Obama! but we've ALWAYS joked about that sort of thing. he tells me how gorgeous our babies would be (which they would be, lol.), and how he is going to take care of me, and wonders how he is going to but up with me (when he knows he really has to worry about how i'm going to put up with him)... it's what we do.
anyway... i digress. not all that long after he visited me when i was in grad school he sent me a package. in the package, a ring box and a note. in the box, a very lovely (but definitely not ME, i don't wear gold - unless its white gold, and i like simple, retro... wondering does he even know me???) ring. very lovely and very clearly an engagement ring. now why would someone send an engagement ring to someone in the mail you might ask? i wondered the same thing. now why would someone send an engagement ring to someone they've never "really" dated and weren't currently dating you might ask? i wondered the same thing. now what in the world did the note say you might ask?
"i love ya, mr. west."
yes, it said "ya". ladies... do you know what that means? oh yes, so do i. fellas... do YOU know what that means? i sure as hell hope so.
and that was it. that was the package. that was the ring. and that was the note.
our next phone conversation:
MR. WEST: "did you get the ring?"
ME: "yes."
MR. WEST: "good."
and that was it! he never asked anything more about it. i never asked more about it. (why you ask? well i was afraid. i didn't want him to ask because i knew i had to say no and i was sure that if he asked me then he would never ask me again when i would be ready to say yes.) my friends were shocked that i didn't send it back. (i do still have it. to be completely honest with you all, i even wear it sometimes). but i couldn't send it back, not unless he asked me to. that would have been one hell of a blow to his ego and it would have closed doors that i didn't want closed.
so almost 2 years later, we are still in touch, we are both still single, and i've been thinking about him so much lately. he's been talking about wanting to come and see me, but considering i was in the state and not working for somewhere around 15 seconds of the last semester it just hasn't worked out. he finally made plans to fly out this next weekend but then i find out this past thursday that he can't make it. he put in his papers to be transferred back to the midwest (closer to his home, his family, and out of the AZ heat) and so he had to meet with the district managers, etc, etc. i had been so excited to see him... and disappointment is just not handled well on my part. ya'll remember the trip #23 was supposed to make? yeah, so needless to say i was devastated. part of the reason i went out and drowned my sorrows thursday night. i was in a very down mood and this just tipped the scales.
so apparently mr. west and i had a very drunken (on my part) conversation late thursday night and talked about how he had saturday and sunday off and i may or may not have mentioned coming to see him. so in my exhausted, depressed, stressed state on friday afternoon i decided that while a 5 hour car ride was a bitch, i only live once and i just needed to see mr. west before i live the rest of my one life always wondering what if...
and that sets the stage for my impromptu trip to AZ... stay tuned.
on a very personal sidenote: have you noticed a pattern here? i let these fellas get close but just not too close... damn. i guess that is why people make comments about me having fellas all over the place... hmmm. it's easier for me to excited about someone that lives across the country, or is completely unavailable, because i'm not at such a risk of having to let them in... think about it - mr. west, the ranger, The Man, #23, "rob lowe", the dr. - all of them... i bring it all on myself...
is it possible to have feelings for someone that you only met once? have only spent a few short hours with? have only talked to on the phone and by text since that night almost a year and half ago?
it was early december 2007, i was at a conference in chilly cincinnati. it had been a long week and it was saturday night after the closing banquet. i was spending the wee hours of the night hanging out at the hotel bar with a bunch of friends talking, laughing, and of course - drinking.
there was a group of fellas at the bar that my table had been eyeing up and they dared me to talk to them. immature? maybe. but fun? yes. so with the help of my liquid courage i attempted to talk to them. we started by devising a plan...
in the meantime, this extremely handsome fella (tall, dark, handsome, one of the group we had been eyeing) came over to our table, walked right up to me and told me how beautiful i was. then walked away.
it didn't take much for me to approach them after that. i started talking to him and he eventually joined our table. we talked and laughed and drank... and i couldn't stop smiling. The Man was intelligent, gorgeous, and had a great sense of humor. it was wonderful.
well, as the morning slowly crept towards us we eventually made our way to the lobby and then slowly to the elevators. he walked me to my room, said goodbye outside of my door, exchanged our cards, and then we shared a few of the most delicious kisses ever experienced in a random hotel hallway.
we text, call, text, etc. we'll talk all the time, then not so much, and then one day i'll randomly get the sweetest text message from him. he always sends me the most amazing text messages.
so is it crazy that i can't help myself when i read something like this?:
"i miss you so much. i wish we could live out the end scene of wicker park. i wish i could stop you from leaving somewhere at the airport. i wish i could kiss you and you'd know everything i've felt for so long. since i met you."
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