a snowy season's greeting...

wishing you and yours the best this holiday season...

Picasso Pictures Christmas Card 2009 from Amael Isnard on Vimeo.

peace and love to you,
calixta.jive.

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"hello... you've reached the winter of our discontent..."

have you ever gone through each day wondering if a decision you made may have been the biggest mistake you've ever made?

i have.

i do.

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merry yule everyone!...

yuletide greetings, happy winter solstice, merry darkest night... whatever you prefer to call it. may your day, and (longest) night, be filled with joy and love.

xoxo.

is that a yule log in your pocket or are you just feeling festive? lol.

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i'm too old for this...

to be honest with ya'll, i'm not even sure where to start.

i guess i'll take the easy (easiest?) route and try starting at the beginning... when i last left you i was headed to my last day of work in SoCal before my big move back to WI.

let me summarize the experience by saying this... it was me and my 2 cats in the car for a little less than 3 days... wow. actually, it was kind of fun. and my cats like hotels. who knew?

i arrived in WI in the middle of july or so... and when did the moving company get all of my things to WI? THE. END. OF. AUGUST. no joke.

i packed my car with enough stuff for me and my cats to survive 2 weeks. i'm talking the basics here folks, some clothes, my travel toiletries, all my cat stuff, my sleeping bag and pillow, my laptop, my camera, and some valuables i didn't want to pack. so let's just say that sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag for 5 weeks is NOT my idea of a good time. hell, i realized i am far too old for that... i was so sore! and yes, it crossed my mind to buy/borrow an air mattress but i have 2 cats with all their claws. enough said.

the kicker is that the end of august and september is one of the busiest times at work for me... especially starting a new job. so how fast do you think i got my stuff unpacked? oh yeah, there are still a few boxes that i haven't even emptied yet. i'm hoping to tackle that over the holiday break. *fingers crossed*

so that is just a little bit of why i haven't been blogging in awhile... understandable, i think so. the rest of the saga, to be continued...

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drenched in vanilla twilight...

the stars lean down to kiss you
and i lie awake and miss you
pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'cause i'll doze off safe and soundly
but i'll miss your arms around me
i'd send a postcard to you, dear
'cause i wish you were here

i'll watch the night turn light-blue
but it's not the same without you
because it takes two to whisper quietly

the silence isn't so bad
'til i look at my hands and feel sad
'cause the spaces between my fingers
are right where yours fit perfectly

i'll find repose in new ways
though i haven't slept in two days
'cause cold nostalgia
chills me to the bone

but drenched in vanilla twilight
i'll sit on the front porch all night
waist-deep in thought because
when i think of you i don't feel so alone

i don't feel so alone, i don't feel so alone

as many times as i blink
i'll think of you tonight
i'll think of you tonight

when violet eyes get brighter
and heavy wings grow lighter
i'll taste the sky and feel alive again

and i'll forget the world that i knew
but i swear i won't forget you
oh, if my voice could reach
back through the past
i'd whisper in your ear
oh darling, i wish you were here

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someone turn off my mind...

i know i've been gone a looooong ass time. and i'll get to that at some point. but for now, i need to know...

are there such things as "signs" out there?

now, i'm not talking about red octagons and yellow triangle type signs. i'm talking about having a dream about smoke and then your house burns down the next day. or your not sure where to eat for lunch and then you get a restaurant coupon in your email. alright, maybe those weren't very good examples, but you get my point.

see here's the deal... i try really hard to not think about my ex, "the one", but he just happened to come up in casual conversation today. no big deal. right? i haven't talked about him in months and i haven't seen him in years, but whatever. then just a few short hours later i check my e-mail and guess who has friended me on FB? yup, "the one".

so is that a sign? a freaky coincidence? or just something to get my overworked brain all messed up about?

if only my mind had an off switch...

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you may need to sit down for this one...

yes. it's true.

i'm back.

:o)

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a short hiatus...

today is my last day at work before i start my trek cross country to my new job. therefore i probably will not get a chance to update ya'll until i'm settled back in good ol' WI. don't worry, i'll try to update via twitter @CALIXTAJIVE and i'll catch up on all of your lovely blogs in the hotel rooms along the way...

it's a sad and happy last day... i'm sort of at a loss for words.

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discontinuity...

today i read an interesting article about the new ad campaign by Wieden+Kennedy that is supposed to help re-brand the dying Levi’s.

here is a tidbit:

"...was supposed to target Generation O seems to have ignored all the participation and multi-culturalism that this Obama-era is supposed to represent. Instead, we find lone white young men and women running through the hills and towards waves reflecting a misplaced interpretation of freedom..."

Levi’s and its campaign don’t connect with the great things that are happening in this country, the radiant mix of cultures evolving within it nor the reality of its past."

"Probably the most appalling ad in the campaign is the one where a young girl runs through a meadow by the words “This Country Was Not Built By Men In Suits”. Now, some of us here (me) didn’t spend a lot of time studying US history but I know that the people who built this country couldn’t even run freely in the fields. Agency Spy spotted graffiti daubed on the ad in New York’s subway which spells out who a little more clearly: “By Slaves”."


read the entire thing HERE...

what frustrates me most as a graphic designer is the discontinuity of the images and overall message in the video advertisement compared to the print campaign. does THIS commercial look reflective of the above statements and posters?

i don't think so.

consistency and accuracy are key in branding. how could an advertising agency not see this? (especially W+K...)

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maybe the day has come...

"and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

~ anais nin

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i'm still smiling...

there are so many millions of things that are stressing me out, frustrating me, making me angry, worrying me, etc. for example:

• i am moving to WI in 2 weeks... 2 weeks!... and i still don't have an apartment.
• because i still don't have an apartment i can't finalize the movers.
• i haven't even started packing.
• i still have a million things to do at work and my last day is july 13.
• i have to start work 2 days after i get to WI... what?!
• i have to start my life over... again.
• i have to make all new friends... again.
• i have to learn a new job and meet all new students... again.
• canceling/setting up utilities and changing addresses on EVERYTHING is no fun.
• have i mentioned that i haven't started packing???

but even after all of that... i am still smiling.

wanna know why?

i think i just unintentionally may have sort of accidentally kinda randomly unexpectedly maybe fell in love.

and i should be completely distraught about the thought of leaving him and moving halfway across the country. but i'm not.

i feel so lucky that he has been a part of my life, and that i have gotten to be a part of his, that i am just oh so grateful for him i'm smiling.

and it hasn't been like any other "relationship" i've ever had. i know i haven't regaled you all with a play-by-play of how things have been going (besides the occasional update) like i have in the past, but it's just been so different. it's hard to explain. it's hard to put in words. it's a little overwhelming and a whole lotta scary, but it is just so good.

and who knows... maybe if things are meant to be they will work out in the end.

if not... i am just so damn glad that the driver decided to let me be a part of his world these last few weeks. my heart has grown because of it...

:o)

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spit that game, v.4...

once again, it is that time...

if you missed the introduction to "SPIT THAT GAME", let me fill you in...

because i love hip-hop and because i'm "down" (i mean really, who doesn't need a tip drill?) (not too mention i have the ass to prove it, lol, that is a topic for another post...), i feel that it is my duty to share with you a random sampling of a few of my all time favorite lines. now some of these lines have specific memories associated with them, some are just so true it is pure genius, and some just crack my shit up!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

because it's been far too long since our last installment, i bring you... VOLUME 4!!!

"protection, for gangs, clubs and nations. causing grief in human relations. it's a turf war, on a global scale. i'd rather hear both sides of the tale. see, its not about races, just places, faces. where your blood comes from is where your space is. i've seen the bright get duller, i'm not going to spend my life being a color." - l.t.b. (in michael jackson's black or white) (now those are some rap lines that still ring true...)

"check it out! once upon a time in '94, montell made no money and life sure was slow.
all they said was 6'8" he stood, and people thought the music that he made was good..." - montell jordan (seriously awesome... because this is how we do it!)

'so what up, what's haapnin'?
all you haters, can get at me
'cause i hear you, and am watchin' but am serious
haters, so all i got to say is WHAT UP!?...
"what it is bruh? what it do man?"' - t.i. (i'm not gonna lie to ya... i greet all my friends with "what it is bruh? what it do man?" now... lol, it's funny 'cause it's true...)

"hell yeah ma, i love a girl that's willin' to learn. willin' to get in the driver's seat and willin' to turn. and not concerned about that he say, she say, did he say what i think he said? squash that, he probably got that off ebay or some, internet access, some website chat line. mad cause i got mine, oh don't wind up on the flat line..." - nelly (who doesn't love rapping this line? 'cause this girl does!!! i even have hand motions for it... heehee.)

"watch out for the medallion my diamonds are wreckless.
feels like a MIDGET is hanging from my necklace." - ludacris (classic. CLASSIC!)

i'm itching to go dancing now... bring on JULY!!!

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don't stop 'til you get enough...

i am currently listening to PYT in honor of the King of Pop.


i can't put it any better than rs27 over at Your Beard is Good:

'"As my friend told me today, "He is the soundtrack of our childhood." I couldn't put it any better. So he was weird. So he was flakey and made poor decisions. Whatever. His music ruled.
....
If you don't like 80s Michael Jackson music you hate life.'

because MJ made us dance, MJ reminded us to not stop 'til we got enough, MJ made music fun, MJ made us all smooth criminals, MJ made music say something, MJ helped us remember the time, MJ thrilled us, MJ made us look at the man in the mirror, MJ was "bad", MJ made us ALL moonwalk, and of course...

MJ had some serious talent. no matter what choices he made, his music never ceased to be amazing... thanks for everything MJ, rest in peace...

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wine and water...

i'm not a big fan of e-mail forwards (i'm sure ya'll understand when i already get around 200-300 e-mails a day for work), but i couldn't pass this one up (not sure where it originated though...). it made me giggle... heehee... enjoy!


"Wine and Water

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine (or beer, rum, tequila, vodka, whiskey... or other spirited beverage) ...and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said:

In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli, (aka. E. Coli - the bacteria found in feces).

In other words, we are consuming

1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when:
Drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey, vodka... or other spirited beverage), because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

So remember:

Water = Poop
Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service."

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bumblebee is my homeboy...

yes. i said it. bumblebee IS my homeboy!

and i am so extremely ridiculously crazy excited for TRANSFORMERS 2: Revenge of The Fallen tonight at midnight!!!

(i'm even going out to buy the NEW limited transformers strawberried peanut butter M&M's before we go get in line... woot!)

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i'm an old lady...

and no, it's not my birthday. not even close. it may be worse than that.

i threw out my back. for the second time this year.

damn, i'm old.

so now... do i go to the doctor or not? do i go and have them tell me to rest and take aleve and i'll be better in a couple weeks... or even better have them tell me to use a heating pad and remember to walk around every few hours... or do i just tough it out?

i guess there is a chance it could be something bad.

but the reality is... it hurts. and this sucks.

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you're driftin' in and out of my dreams...

let me update you on my weekend...

so as you may know, saturday was LA day! my girlfriends and i were complete tourists and despite the gloomy weather in the morning, i had an absolute blast!!! i had the best hotdog at pink's and bought some great buttons and stickers at johnny cupcakes... along with this shirt:

how cute is this?!?! ;o) (and no... that is not me. but that does remind me, i still need to show you my latest tattoo.)

oh and i bought yummy cupcakes at sprinkles, walked down rodeo drive, we shopped at the farmer's market, i got to see the USC campus, and we ate dinner at the original el cholo's!!! mmmm, green corn tamales!

after we got home saturday night i was exhausted but i just couldn't pass up the invitation the driver's invitation to come over. things have been interesting between us. i can't even believe how much he means to me. and this is coming from me... who decided not to feel too strongly about anyone too fast after my latest debacles with the male species. i just can't get over how great we get along, how happy he makes me, and how attracted to him i am. rarrr. lol.

anyway... we had talked friday night (yes... when i was so upset) and it was good. he helped me put my feelings about work and moving into perspective. and we also talked about us for a little bit. he told me that he was considering telling me that he couldn't see me anymore, that we shouldn't talk anymore... but he came to the same conclusion that freckledk helped me realize - that he'd rather spend the rest of my time here with me than spend the rest of his life wondering "what if".

so i stayed with him saturday night and we spent sunday morning being lazy before he took me to IKEA for the first time... and all i have to say about that is WOW! the rest of the afternoon was spent building cabinets and laughing that he got all of the measurements wrong. then me remeasuring everything and making a second trip to IKEA. heehee. in the end we got all the right parts and i proceeded to put together all of his kitchen cabinets. it was so much fun!!! and yes... he adores me. hopefully as much as i adore him. :o)

and even more proof of how wonderful the driver is, he told me to bring my laptop - my baby - and then went ahead and added more RAM and all kinds of other techinical amazingness (cuz that's how he rolls). now how sweet is that?!?!

oh and he bought us tickets to see transformers at the arclight in hollywood! woot! i am so so excited!!!!! the best part is that he is not even close to as pumped as i am, he bought them just because he knows how excited i am! he is damn near perfect... ;o)

so about this whole WI not being next to CA.........

and that. was. my. weekend.

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i'm sorry, what?!?...

i have two things for you blogbunnies today... and because i'm trying to even out the craziness one is funny and one is just ridiculous (and not in that totally rad way that i love... more like what-the-eff? ridiculous). i'll update you on LA day and my fun weekend tomorrow...

ready?

i'll go with the fun first. ya'll know i have a BFA. yup. i was an art student. and i LOVED it!!! i'd go back in a heartbeat. in fact, i still dream about getting my MFA someday (because my MSed is not enough???) and have even sent away for all the info on my top choices of schools. so along those lines... i do keep up on my design skillz (though not always as much as i'd like to, unfortunately) and i spend some time reading a few of my favorite art/graphic/design etc. blogs. and low and behold what did i stumble upon today?

over on blog 30x30 by chuck dillon he asks the question "which student are you?"

chuck dillon 2009 - www.blog30x30blogspot.com

hilarious!!! and so true. i may have made a few slight changes (simply due to the fact that i went to a different school in a very different part of the country) but nonetheless... hilarious!!!

can you guess which one i was??? (and no... it is not the one featured here... lol.)

and now on the what-the-eff ridiculousness...

do you remember the ranger? yup, this one. one and the same. and you remember this (oh yes, almost 2 months to the day after visiting me, i find out about his gf)?

well, more big news thanks to good ol' FB. almost 2 months to the day after finding out that the ranger has a gf he never ever mentioned to me (and we are supposed to be good friends... or so i thought) and almost 4 months to the day after the aforementioned incident above i log on to facebook and what do i see???

over in the so-called "highlights" section it reads: "the ranger is engaged to girl i didn't know existed" (formerly known as girl who is not me) (once again, names have been changed, slightly).

ENGAGED? what-the-eff???

seriously!

and no, i'm not interested in being with the ranger. that's not it. it just bothers me that we are supposed to be good friends and yet he is dating someone i've never heard him mention and then suddenly he is engaged to her. i guess my idea of being friends is slightly different than his???

and what was his visit all about then? i just don't even have words...

hmmmm...

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today is...

LA Day!!! and i couldn't be more excited.

(and no, that is not an official day) LA Day is this super fun and exciting day that me and 3 of my girlfriends have planned out for weeks. we are heading into LA and we are going to be complete tourists! it is going to be amazing...

here is a list of some of the things we have planned:

• pinks! (you have no idea how excited i am for this... yum yum yum!!!)
• johnny cupcakes (no, it's not a cupcake shop)
• beverly hills
• sprinkles (yes, this one actually is a cupcake shop... and i've never ever been!)
• the farmer's market
• hollywood
• ... and a whole bunch of other things, places, and sights that i can't even remember right now!!!

this is just what i need to cheer me up. i'll tell you all about it when i get back! :o) and if you have any suggestions of things i need to do before i leave CA... let me know!!!

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i apologize in advance...

yes, i know i'm not supposed to apologize for myself in my blogs. or complain too much or make my posts too long, but fuck it. this is my blog and i'll do what i want.

and i'm all fucking riled up tonight. because if i'm not riled up i'm bawling my eyes out.

i have been off and on all fucking day.

i just never ever thought that i'd be upset about leaving. my only thoughts were how many happy dances i would be doing. i certainly didn't think i'd be this. fucking. upset.

damn i'm swearing like a drunken sailor this evening.

i can't even get my thoughts out right now. i can't make them make sense. i want to get them out. i need to. and i just can't seem to do it. argh. one minute i'm fine... the next i'm hysterical.

this is just so unexpected. i moved out here and i had a rough time. i didn't realize that it would be so hard for me to be so far away from my family. especially since i have such a rough relationship with my mom and sister. but it was everything that i missed... the big family get-togethers, the ability to drive home whenever i needed to, the midwest, the nice people, the seasons, everything that was familiar to me...

and my job was so rough at first. it is such a tough position and it was one hell of a rocky road... but i am a fighter. i don't give up easy. and i have a midwest work ethic dammit!

at first all i wanted to do was leave... but i just couldn't. i knew that eventually i had to move on, move up, move back... for my health, my sanity, i was being realistic.

but in the meantime... i got attached.

i have seen my students come so far. i ahve seen them grow. i have seen them fight me, push back on everything i tried to do, battle every single change. and then i watched them accept me, open up to me, and trust me. i have seen them make huge leaps and strides. i have seen them step on the path to greatness. followers have become leaders. angry, frustrated kids have become passionate, driven adults. and i am so protective of them. i want the best for them. i don't want them to take a step back. i want them to continue on this path to greatness.

i can't even describe it. i guess i feel like they are all my kids and it is my job to take care of them. and yes, i know i can't take care of them forever, but i'm just not ready to let go yet. i want to be sure that they are ready. i want to protect them from everything. i want to be there to fight for them. and i know i can't be there for them forever...

i just can't believe i'm fucking feeling this way.

i don't like it out here. i want to live in the midwest. i have a great new job.

but the thought of leaving my students is just tearing me apart. it hurts physically. i have myself so worked up.

is the next "me" going to take care of them? lead them down the right path? understand the unique system they have? work with them for 15 hours a day because they love them so so much? fight for them because they have their best interest at heart? be at all of their events just to show them how much they care about them? be patient and understanding but firm? have their office open to them all day and all night just to talk things out - good and bad? support them and believe in them?

and the worst damn part... i have no one to talk to.

no one.

all of my "close" friends here have moved on. and my friends back home just don't understand. my family never went to college let alone understand what i do... they didn't want me to move out here in the first place. and i have built my fucking walls so high that i haven't let anyone in enough to have someone to talk to. i know it's my own damn fault but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck ass.

so here i am. bitching. and crying. on a friday night. to the interwebs.

i just hope my students know how so so so proud i am of them. and i know that they can accomplish great things. i believe in them. no matter how many times i tell them... i hope they don't forget...


i expected to be elated... and i'm so nervous and scared and upset...

this isn't how it is supposed to be.


****************************
one addition to that last post:

having my two adorable kitties curl up with me sure does make me feel better. :o)

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hmmm, what's my "but"?...

as you all know, i'm semi-addicted to how i met your mother. now understand that i go on and on about my love for barney stinson because i just started watching it a few months ago. i know, i know! that's blasphemous! but i needed something distracting to watch so one of my dvd-addicted friends let me borrow season 1 and 2 of HIMYM. (and i just got season 3 in from netflix). so yes... i'm late to the game. don't judge.

i was watching season 3 disc 1 last night while i was whipping up a batch of my famous beer dip for a bbq after work today and episode 3.04 "little boys" came on... here is a little taste of the beginning...

lily: so, robin, i've got a guy for you. he's cute, he's funny, he's smart.
ted: what's his 'but'?
lily: what do you mean?
ted: when someone wants to set you up they always tell you the good qualities first but then they leave out their huge flaw.

(flashback to maclaren's, barney telling ted about a girl)

barney: she's totally hot and really fun.
barney: (to himself) but she has a dead tooth.

(flashback to maclaren's, marshall telling ted about a girl)

marshall: she's superhot and she's so successful.
marshall: (to himself) but she has a pug that she pushes around in a stroller.

(flashback to maclaren's, lily and ted sit at booth, lily tells ted about a girl)

lily: she's so cute and she's so smart.
lily: (to herself) but her last boyfriend had to get a restraining order against her and then his cat and new vacuum cleaner both went missing.
ted: wow, set it up.

(back to present scene)

ted: i'm still convinced she killed my turtle.
robin: hey, you know what, not every setup has a 'but'. what about, um, jamie, that girl that lily set you up with? she was really nice.
barney: if memory serves me, she had a huge 'but'. her huge butt. nailed it!

and then a bit later...

robin: yeah. hey, what's my 'but'? you know, i'm really nice, but...
ted: (to himself) but she's afraid of commitment.
lily: (to herself) but she's a gun nut.
barney: (to himself) but she's canadian.
marshall: (to himself) but she didn't like field of dreams.
barney: i can't think of anything.
ted: you don't have a 'but'.

so that got me thinking... what's my "but"?

i could probably guess (i push people away, i don't let people in, apparently i'm intimidating, i'm emotional, my actual butt, lol...) but i don't really know. i wonder what other people would say...

what's your "but"???

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adorably awe-summm...

thanks to my sweetheart nickie over at Learn to Fly. =) for these super fun awards! who doesn't appreciate a sweet compliment every once in awhile? THANKS HUN!

the rules are to:

• include the award logo in your blog or post.
• nominate as many blogs which you like.
• be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
• let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
• oh and share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award!
  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now that's AWE-Summm!!!

rules:

list 7 things that make you awe-summm and then pass to 7 bloggers that you love.
make sure to tag your recipients and let them know that they have won!

1. i can bake some seriously mean vanilla bean cupcakes. or dark chocolate cinnamon. (those are my two recent faves... i make lots of others!!!)
2. i am slightly obsessed with stephen king. (ask if you really want to know how obsessed... lol.)
   
3. i really really want a '70 Chevelle 454 SS.
4. i'm moving back to the midwest! woot!
5. i am mildly addicted to how i met your mother... i just freaking love barney stinson! SUIT UP!
6. i heart the summer... working normal hours makes life seem so exciting! there are just so many possibilities...
7. i recently realized that i break all kinds of blog rules and commit numerous blog faux-pas. oops.
   

now i don't know if any of that makes me AWE-Summm... but it sure does qualify as random... and that is so totally my style!

now tag your blogging buddies... and i tag: anyone who is reading this... enjoy! and thanks for reading!

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here (in your arms)...

i stole this fun little gem from Rose over at Delightfully Inappropriate.

here are the rules...

1. put your iTunes on shuffle.

2. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. feel free to add some commentary if you’d like.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? she's country - jason aldean (heehee, is that an excuse for something? i'm using it!)
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? follow through - gavin degraw (interesting.)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? whatcha need - boyz II men (you bet i like it if they got what i need... lol.)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? morning glory - oasis (not sure...)
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? ain't that a bitch - aerosmith (truer words my friend, truer words.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? where the blacktop ends - keith urban (that is a good question...)
WHAT IS 2+2? more gangsta music - cam'ron f/ juelz santana (that's my kind of math!)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS? we luv deez hoes - outkast (hell yes!)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? i'm not strong enough to say no - blackhawk (damn, that's a good one.)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? who am i? (what's my name?) - snoop dogg (this is perfect, haha!)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? my wife - the who (umm, what?)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? on the run - pink floyd (oh damn.)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? role model - eminem (nice.)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? i love you - sarah mclachlan (how sappy.)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? psycho - system of a down (uhh, this makes me nervous.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? let's get high - dr. dre (well? let's!)
HOW WILL YOU DIE? unwell - mathcbox twenty (good to know.)
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? my favorite mistake - sheryl crow (but i'll never tell...)
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? do right woman, do right man - aretha franklin (that's just silly.)
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? how's it going to be - third eye blind (well i guess so...)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? you ain't missin' nothing - t.i. (now that's a fact!)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? easy - fuel (wow, scary.)
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? dance, dance, dance - steve miller band (you mean who doesn't???)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? i alone - live (that's a thinker...)
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? she will be loved - maroon 5 (well, ouch.)
HOW AM I FEELING TODAY? people are strange - the doors (that is a fact.)
WILL I GET FAR IN LIFE? jesus jesus bobeezus - jason mraz (ahahahaha!!!)
HOW DO MY FRIENDS SEE ME? can you handle it? - usher (nope... prolly can't. i'm a handful!!!)
WHAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S THEME SONG? i wanna be sedated - the offspring (not because of me, i hope.)
WHAT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE? nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks - panic! at the disco (not very promising... but quite accurate.)
WHAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL LIKE? mouth - bush (umm, sure?)
HOW CAN I GET AHEAD IN LIFE? won't stop - one republic (damn right!)
WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT ME? open arms - journey (good one.)
HOW IS TODAY GOING TO BE? comin' for ya - dmx (uhhoh.)
WHAT IS IN STORE FOR THIS WEEKEND? social disease - bon jovi (AHAHAHA, EPIC!)
WHAT SONG DESCRIBES MY PARENTS? ready to run - dixie chicks (that is for sure... they should've!)
TO DESCRIBE MY GRANDPARENTS? clocks - coldplay (ugh, kinda sad...)
HOW IS MY LIFE GOING? everything i am - kanye west (i like it.)
WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT MY FUNERAL? beautiful lie - 30 seconds to mars (is that me???)
HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE ME? working class hero - green day (ahh, quality... i love this.)
WILL I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE? don't let the sun go down on me - elton john (oh how dramatic. perfect!)
WHAT DO MY FRIEND’S REALLY THINK OF ME? i put a spell on you - creedence clearwater revival (what they don't know...)
DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER ME? like a prayer - madonna (you betcha!!!)
HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY? on top - the killers (heehee.)
WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE? rock with you - michael jackson (sounds like a plan...)
WILL I EVER HAVE CHILDREN? ain't going down 'til the sun comes up - garth brooks (ummm, i'll take that as a NO.)
WHAT IS SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME? touch, feel, & lose - ryan adams (i can do that.)
HOW WILL I BE REMEMBERED? back 2 good - matchbox twenty (i like it.)
WHAT IS MY SIGNATURE DANCING SONG? stand up - ludacris (hell yes it's a luda song!!!)
WHAT DO I THINK MY CURRENT THEME SONG IS? got it right this time - keith urban (hmmm, i hope that's true.)
WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE THINK MY CURRENT THEME SONG IS? (oh no) what you got - justin timberlake (umm, sexy...)
WHAT TYPE OF MEN/WOMEN DO YOU LIKE? jackson - johnny cash f/ june carter (this is good...)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? here (in your arms) - hellogoodbye

now how fun and random was that??? love it!

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it's alright, cause i'm saved by the bell...

for those of you that don't know me very well, i have to tell you... i LOVE me some saved by the bell!!!

so news of the possible reunion makes my heart happy and flashbacks of childhood race through my mind... watch this and just try and tell me you don't get a little bit giddy and a whole lot of nostalgic...




ohmygosh it's zack morris!!! (and damn he looks the same even after 20 years!) and thank you jimmy fallon (i heart the fact that you giggled during the first "time out"). and of course... thanks to freckledk for the link!!!

what person around my age can't sing the lyrics to the saved by the bell theme song???

let me get you started...

when i wake up in the morning
and the alarm lets out a warning
i don't think i'll ever make it on time...
by the time i grab my books and i give myself a look
i'm at the corner just in time to see the bus slide by...

it's alright cause i'm saved by the bell...

(so sorry that i just got that stuck in your head!!! heeehee, no i'm not! i'm going to watch episodes of saved by the bell on netflix instantly during my lunch break... oh what a good day!)

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'cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life...

i'm going to preface my exciting news with a quick recap of my weekend... which was amazing. and unexpected.

when i was out of town last week the driver asked me if i wanted to join him at his house friday night so we could get up early and head to the beach. and because i've been looking for an opportunity to spend more time with him, not only because i adore him, but also because it seems as though every time we go out we are staying up till the wee hours, not getting any sleep, and dropping me off or picking me up at the airport. he then invited me to one of his friends birthday/graduation party at a club in downtown LA saturday night.

do you understand what that means? i spent the entire weekend with the driver.

i was super nervous. i was looking forward to spending more time with him, but a whole weekend? i was anxious about staying at his place, meeting his friends, what to wear to the club, him getting sick of me over the course of 2 1/2 days... lol. basically i worked myself up quite a bit.

but it was amazing. really.

i headed out to his place late friday night where we preceded to make a grocery run for our beach trip. we woke up early saturday morning and headed straight to the beach so as not to miss out on the good waves. i spent the morning reading vonnegut on the beach while the driver caught some waves with his friends. we spent the afternoon picnicking and soaking up the rays. then we were headed to downtown LA to check-in to our hotel, get dinner, have a few drinks and get ready for the evening.

we eventually headed out to the club. and what i finally decided on wearing worked out perfect... long, perfectly fitted black pinstripe pants (i'm talking they really emphasized my curves... and ya'll know i have some curves! we will get to that later...), my kenneth cole heels, and a sheer cap-sleeve black turtleneck. yea, i wore a lot of black, but debra messing says that red-heads look good in black and who am i to disagree with that. heehee.

upon arriving at the club i realized two very interesting things. 1) this was apparently a lock & key party. and until this time i didn't really think this happened in real life, not too mention i was there on a date... can you say "awkward"? 2) i was the only white person in the bar. now i don't have a problem with this, not that it has ever happened to me before - the northern midwest isn't really the most diverse place, let alone filled with many "clubs." lol. it was just new for me. the driver was actually pretty impressed with how little it phased me, i think it bothered him more that every time he walked away from me there was a fella standing next to me trying to fit his key in my lock or commenting on how fine my ass is, especially for a white girl. lol. it got to the point where he just said to me "for all intensive purposes, tonight you are my girlfriend." so we spend the rest of the evening dancing and laughing.

until we got back to the hotel.

which leads me to my exciting news (oh yeah, we slept in sunday morning, ate dim sum in chinatown for lunch, and spent the afternoon talking and laughing... then i headed home where i decided to have a bit too much fun for a sunday night... i'll get to that later...).

i was offered a job back in the midwest! a good job. a great opportunity. in a great place.

approximately 2,400 miles from here.

and i couldn't be more excited and nervous and sad at the same time if i tried.

excited because i'll be moving back to the midwest... where i really feel like i fit, into a job with a lot of promise and opportunity. but i'll be leaving my job here... and yes, i won't have to deal with the ridiculousness, the politics, the never-ending hours, the madness. but i will also be leaving my students, my hard work, my new leaders, and i know that they still have work to do. and i know they can do it... i just hope that they keep up the hard work and the amazing progress even after i leave. i know all of their success isn't just because of me, but i just know that they are capable of great things, and i need to know there will be someone there to push them...

oh so bittersweet.

and i just met the driver. and not only to i adore him, but i have so much fun with him, i like to make him laugh, because we have these little things between us that mean so much... oh and he's gorgeous.

after getting back to the hotel saturday night... he made a comment to me while we were drunkenly discussing our "situation" (not the best time to discuss these kinds of things, i know) that really pulled my heart strings... "i want to hate you. i want to be angry with you. ... but i can't."

and he has a right to feel that way... but he's so understanding. he knows that this is a great opportunity that i can't pass up... but that leaves so little time for us. and he told me how much he enjoyed that he could be himself with me, that he likes that i accept and adore him for who he is.

so do we spend the next month enjoying each other's company? or do we stop now before we get in deeper and then i have to leave?

damn.

i'm supposed to be elated right now and all i can dwell on is leaving my students and not being able to see the driver anymore. oh, new adventures and the struggles involved...

so what do i do? i spend sunday night trying to forget my problems and get wasted with Charles Ingalls and the crew. lots of fun, no sleep, and i sure didn't think about anything of substance. oh the pun's i didn't intend... hahahaha!!!

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guess who's b-back, back...

yes, it's true... i'm back!

so sorry for my absence... may was a whirlwind of activity, work, travel, work, interviews, work, and oh yes, work.

here are a few random tidbits to help sum up my brief intermission (but actually they don't really sum it up much at all... :o)

• the semester is over! woot! i will now be working somewhat normal hours... i'm talking maybe even closer to 40 hours a week people!!!
• i'm going to miss some of my graduates... others, not so much, heehee.
  
• senior dinner was amazing but i'm glad it's over. being in charge of an 1,100 person dinner is stressful!
• the outerbanks, NC are amazing!
  
• ACE and eddie's wedding was glorious and the mini RED DOT reunion was nice, too. :o)
  
• my few days at the beach were blissful (for the most part...) and i met some wonderful people, worked on my freckles (in leiu of a tan... i AM a redhead), met some yummy fishermen, drank a couple or 12 spirited beverages, and read 4 novels... 4, now that's my kind of vacay!
• above is the view from our three-story beach house equppied with 7 bathrooms, a pool, a hot tub, innumerable beds, and a short walk to the ocean!!!
  
• had another interview (that involved flying half way across the country and then getting stuck in the airport for about 24 hours)
• i adore the driver... seriously. and actually, i'll be spending the weekend with him, too. the beach, a night out, and an entire weekend of his gorgeousness... fun! (so maybe this whole online dating thing isn't so terrible???)
  
• i spoke to my sister for the first time since thanksgiving yesterday... strange.
  
• i missed you all... and my google reader is right around 500 unread items... so sorry if i haven't commented, i will be getting through them now that i will have a bit of down time.
• expect big news coming from my corner of the interweb this monday!
• oh and why did i drink so much last night? heehee...
  

oh and did i mention i missed you?!?!!!

xoxo,
calixta.jive.

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mixed up time zones...

so you've been wondering where i've been, let me fill you in...

if you haven't been wondering, you should have been, and if you don't care, then why are you reading this? heehee... i'm sassy today.

anywhooo... after my wonderful awards banquet last week, thursday was intense day of work. lots of things to get done before i flew out friday morning. not too mention, we had a program in which we rented a theater and had a midnight showing of angels & demons for the students. it was great! i even got the chance to have my second date with the driver. :o) i had a blast. he's gorgeous, smart, funny, and sweet... it's ridiculous.

the issue was we didn't get home from the program until after 2:30am and we had to be on the road to the airport at 4:30am. ugh. the driver made sure i made it in plenty of time, but we sure didn't get any sleep. that made for a rough day friday.

i flew into baltimore and after picking up a few of my other sisters we headed to HQ to work for the weekend. we stayed at the office until almost midnight on friday and because some of us sisters don't see each other anytime except these events throughout the year, we stayed up until the wee hours chatting and catching up. we started bright and early at 8am on saturday (yes, that's 5am socal time!) headed back to the office and we didn't leave until after 11pm, where i then went back to the hotel to finish up some of my regualr work via computer and free wireless, then we all headed out to crapplebees to fill up on appetizers and mucho-sized drinks (their mango-strawberry margarita is TASTY!). so then after a night of being up way too late again, we started at am and worked straight through until the time we need to be dropped off at the airport. you might be wondering the benefits of this intense weekend??? well, i love to volunteer and they fed us really really well! heehee.

now sunday i didn't fly back to socal. i actually flew to the midwest, arrived around 10pm and was picked up and driven to my hotel (which i didn't realize that the 45 minutes trip would not only take me through #23's town but directly past his road... i text him to say hi and after he said hi back and asked what i was doing in the area he never replied... oh well, i guess being friends is out of the question). i arrived at my hotel at around 11pm and then tried desperately to get some sleep... unfortunately i was much too nervous because...

monday i had an interview! it started at 8am and went all throughout the day. i was driven back to the hotel around 7:30pm... can you say long day!!! the interview went really well and i think it would be an extremely good fit for me... i guess i'll just have to wait and see what happens. fingers crossed. that's a whole other topic... you all know i don't much like socal, but i am going to have a hard time leaving my students... ugh.

so i was up and at the airport by 5:30am (yes, 3:30am socal time!)... and when i got back to my apartment around 1pm, i changed quick and then headed back into work...

and that takes me to now. not quite sure what time it is, or isn't or is supposed to be, or what i feel like it is... and i know i need sleep because the rest of this week/weekend are going to be just as intense as the past weekend... but i'm all a jumbled mess right now!

some of my favorite highlights:

• getting to spend time with the driver.
• seeing my sisters and laughing, a lot!
• interviewing for a great job back in the midwest.
• running into people in the elevator.
• wearing a big bow.
  
• being in the midwest.
• good text messages.
• making the driver "feel weird", lol.
• wishing i had a lion.
  
• realizing i have a lot to offer professionally.
• eating way too much!
• heading back to work and realizing how much people missed me...
  

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my heart is all swelled up...

tonight was my big awards banquet.

i've been planning it for weeks and weeks. i've completely reworked the awards and the application process and the event. it stressed me out. it drove me crazy.

but it was so worth it.

to see all of the individuals and chapters being recognized for all of their hard work. to honor all of the advisors and leaders that dedicate so much of their time and effort to the fraternal movement. to be in a room full of my students talking, laughing, and sharing in each others accomplishments.

it was worth it.

my keynote went great. i spoke about fraternal relevance and not only managed to get a few oohs and ahhs but even a few laughs.

and the best part...

my students surprised me at the end of the night with an award to honor me. they showered me with love and even got me gorgeous flowers. sweet smelling star-gazers lilies to be exact.

i cried.

i am so lucky to be able to do what i do.

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if today was not an endless highway...

if tonight was not a crooked trail
if tomorrow wasn't such a long time
then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all

yes, and only if my own true love was waiting
if i could hear his heart softly pounding
yes, and only if he was lying by me
would i lie in my bed once again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so as i have mentioned earlier, i have been trying out the whole online dating thing. besides the fact that any and all men in my life live in another state, which makes the whole commitment thing a bit difficult, i seem to be running short in the friend department these days. so... i put myself out there. i figured that even if i don't find my soul mate (even if i end up with mr. west) i could meet some new friends.

this has been my experience so far:

• lots of creepy messages from even creepier fellas (including married men)
• lots of really weaksauce attempts at witty/intelligent e-mails
  
• a fair share of x-rated messages from fellas i've never communicated with previously
• lots of lamesauce messages from fellas who clearly didn't ever even glance at my profile, just looked at my photos
  
• and a handful of interesting fellas

among those interesting fellas, here is a rundown of the most interesting:

• the soccer player - who i decided to have dinner with and then realized after meeting him in person that he is gay. and i'm not trying to be rude here people, this fella is gay... he just hasn't admitted it to himself yet.
• the dude - who i had a few beers with but then realized that all he does is drink beer and talk about philosophy and theory.
• the professor - he teaches religious studies and when we met for lunch he didn't wait for me to get there to be seated (i had to search the restaurant for him) and even though he asked me to lunch, i paid. yes, you read that right. check came, he just sat there. i pulled out my wallet (thinking to myself that he would, too and we would at least go dutch) and he continued to just sit there. seriously. that's class.
• texas - who lives approximately 1300 miles away but we just so happen to get along great (of course he lives in another state, why wouldn't he? lol) but he scares me a bit when he talks about visiting.

and the best:

• the driver - he's interesting, never fails to make me laugh, we have a lot in common (but not too much), his smile could make ANYONE smile, he's intelligent, random, my age (strange, right?) completely gorgeous... i mean devastatingly handsome people (makes me wonder why he's single???), and we connected by quoting on of my fave movies... heehee.
  

we finally met in person last night and it was wonderful. it may have been one of the best dates i've ever been on. no, wait. it was one of the best dates (not that i've been on many "dates", i tend to have the "let's hang out" kind of scenario more often... anyone have that issue?), hands down. i was nervous, i changed 4 times, i actually did something with my hair, and did i mention i was nervous? but it was so good... we had dinner, talked, laughed, talked, saw a movie.

and then after he dropped me off and walked me to the door he kissed me. and ladies... i felt the tingle. the spark. i felt all wiggly inside and i'm not going to lie... if he had kissed me any more my thighs would have started to itch... it was glorious.

and he text me before he had even made it home to thank me for the evening, let me know how much fun he had, and how he couldn't wait to see me again.

and i spent my 15 hour work day today with a shit-eating grin on my face... all day. :o)

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happy mother's night...

hahahaha!

i love JT on SNL - this is hilarious...

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

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FREE chocolate...

yes, i said FREE* chocolate!!!

sign up at the Mars Real Chocolate Relief Act every friday until september and you could win coupons for FREE* chocolate... i did!

from their website:

what is real chocolate relief?

Times are tough and we at Mars want to help. How, you ask? Every Friday through September, Mars will give away FREE* real chocolate to 250,000 people. That means you can enjoy your favorite Mars candy brands—M&M'S®, SNICKERS®, TWIX®, 3 MUSKETEERS®, MILKY WAY® and DOVE®— for free*!

what is real chocolate?

U.S. Standards of Identity are government regulations that define which ingredients may be used to make a food product in order to be allowed to call it by a certain name. For chocolate, the Standards of Identity require that cocoa butter be the only source of fat (except for milk fat). There are several other requirements too, such as a specific amount of chocolate liquor, use of flavorings and sugar substitutes.

* limit: 250,000 Coupons per Friday (9:00:00AM ET to 11:59:59PM ET)

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on a pizza?...

you know what's yummy?

pizza with cream cheese, pesto, angel hair pasta, pepperoni, sausage, cashews, green onions, and jack cheese.

they call it the "brando." i call it perfection.

oh... so... yummy.

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fave film characters...

i've been tagged by my BBF Nickie over at Learn to Fly =) to do a meme about my top 10 favorite film characters and tell you why they made my list. now people, this is going to be TOUGH (only 10?!) but i'll give it a whirl...

Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) - Sixteen Candles
she's got to be one of my all-time favorites! not only to i love love this movie, but when i was younger i wanted to BE molly ringwald. and who doesn't have a crush on Jake Ryan?!?!

Ben Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) - The Graduate
this is a classic, seriously. dustin hoffman is absolutely amazing in this film, especially since it was his first film!

Bridget Jones (Rene Zellweger) - Bridget Jones's Diary & Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
i have one good reason for this pick: bridget jones is ME. heehee... oh how i can relate.

Mikey Walsh (Sean Astin) - The GOONIES
who doesn't love the goonies??? this is one of my all-time favorites! i have it on VHS and DVD and even taped off of TV! and seriously, sean astin is so freakin' adorable in this movie. "it's our time, it's our time... down here!"

Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) - The Departed
mmm, leo is so damn hot in this movie. i've seen it at least 12 times and it never gets old. great story (yay martin scorcese!), wonderful cast (how cool is mark walhberg and jack nicholas?) and leo is not just hot, he's amazing in this flick!

Matt Buckner (Elijah Wood) - Green Street Hooligans
if you haven't seen it, you should. who would have thought that frodo baggins could be a BAD ASS??? well, it's not only funny, but it has depth and even a few tears... not to mention hard core fighting scenes! elijah is a great actor and i think this role is underrated.

Connor McManus (Sean Patrick Flannery) & Murphy McManus (Norman Reedus) - The Boondock Saints
yes, i kinda cheated putting them both in there (but hey, at least i cut it down to 10ish, i originally had 16!) this move is epic (yes, i'm nervous for the sequel... let's not fuck up a good thing, fingers crossed) and the McManus brothers are not only gorgeous (i have to admit connor is my fave! yum.) but they are just perfect in this film.

Creasy (Denzel Washinton) - Man on Fire
people, it's denzel. and the story is heart-wrenching . he's flawed, troubled, and yet somehow perfect. i cry every time i see it...

Josh Baskin (Tom Hanks) - Big
don't you just love tom hanks?!?! i do! this is another of my all-time faves. and when i was younger i wanted to be just like josh baskin when i grew up, haha!

Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) - Pretty Woman
i'm not going to lie, i sort of want to be julia roberts. i even have the unruly vivian hair... lol. what's funny is that when i first saw the movie i had no idea what she did for a living, i didn't really get it at all. but now, i know its sort of an unreal, raunchy, stereotypical, fairytale type story... but i just love the idea of the fairytale and the happy ending. don't you? and julia is just so wonderful!

and that's my list! at least the 10 i decided on for today. hope you enjoy.

anyone else want to take a whirl? feel free!!!

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